I'm back. This is a preview of my current story. It's a stand-alone story (unlike everything else I do). Keep in mind that this is so far un-edited, so there are lines that either won't make the cut or will be changed.
They’re here...but no one else is. Everything’s gone, even the almighty Spartans. Their deaths, everyone’s deaths, were as slow and agonizing as time itself. On this day, life takes one last breath, and becomes nothing more than what used to be.
Sirens are raging, waking only the air surrounding them. Voices ring in the distance, but they’re nothing more than the harsh memories of life transformed. The dead walk; Heaven and Hell overpopulated. Blood drips from the ceiling, glimmering in the glow of death and destruction.
Some took themselves to another place, only to be brought back on this horrid road. Everything has surrendered to them, violently and involuntarily. Little is left of the representations of the past.
Looking around, nothing is perceptible. Only the eerie, glowing lights of darkness can be seen through the equinox.
Frenzied movement lurched near an open, unlit doorway. A shelf full of novels fell, blocking the bottom half of the exit. Beasts converged upon the scene, mindlessly and uncontrollably. Their arms forcefully held in the front, legs dragging behind.
A single warrior rose out of the mass, cannon elevated. Firing a round, the soldier clung himself to his only barrier. He slipped the cannon into his mouth, and prepared to pull the trigger. Staring down, he saw where his comrade had once been laid to rest.
Please comment, if you have a comment. Oh and CK, if this isn't allowed in this section, I'm sorry.
-- Edited by LoneRanger at 20:25, 2006-10-07
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"Hold fast to dreams, for if dreams die, life is a broken winged bird that cannot fly." - Langston Hughes
Nice actual writing - but I have a problem with the "story". Can you clarify if this is going to be an "actual story"? I mean, right now I'm just seeing a few well written lines of text, but no actual plot direction, characters, etc. Is this like an intro or what?
Sorry for taking so long to reply. Anyway, the plot, at least right now, doesn't really start to boil until about half way through this story line. And characters aren't really the focus in this one. But it does have a plot direction, and it's hopefully an interesting one.
The fiction is an experiment, basically. Everything I'm writing is very character-driven, so it's nice for me to not have to think of quite a few new characters every time a new idea pops into my head.
Of course, this is all subject to change. There have been moments where I just wanted to type in a "What the crap is that?" or "Thank god," but that's really not the direction I want to go. I must admit though, I'm getting more and more interested in the characters I've created.
Thanks for the criticisms by the way. And yes, this is mostly just an introduction to what the story's all about. Excepting any ACTUAL plot of course. I had intended to be done by today, but that's looking very unlikely right now.
-- Edited by LoneRanger at 20:28, 2006-10-07
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"Hold fast to dreams, for if dreams die, life is a broken winged bird that cannot fly." - Langston Hughes
Ok. We currently have two other full sized Fiction entries right now that have to be put up on the site. But, seeing as how yours is so far only an intro, do you think we could make a page for your story, fill out the info, and post your "intro" as a Preview? Kinda like I did for the latest Wilkens? Won't do anything without your permission first though, of course.
